He wasn't even sure how to get home. He had road with Joe, not a very close friend, and Eddie, who had invited him was half passed out half mid-coitus with an equal hammered (and equally unattractive) coed.
"Roll!!!" a very annoying but persistent voice shrilled.
"At me?", Paul thought, "Yes you twit!!" Shrilly shrilled again. "Must have said it out loud."Paul stated out loud and then shouted, "I attack with my mace!"
"And what mace is that .... you ..... "
"Twit ?" Paul asked.
Elrichie Half-elven was a fighter/mage 9th level and had been Paul's favorite character since he got to Penn State. And he did not indeed have a mace. No reason for the supercilious Brit DM to talk to him that way though. Jeez you'd think he was trying to heal someone or something.
Not for the first time, but very close to the last, Paul thought there was too much smoke, there aren't enough of us getting high in this very big room for all this smoke.
"I'll use my sword and charge the center of the group, cover my flanks you assholes!!!" he yells as he drops his D-20.
"I am in need of a new word, I have worn "twit" right out" DM Dave from Devonshire mumbles very loudly.
"Asswipe!" "Cheech and/or Chong!" "Dude who stole my mace?!?!" were happily added to the DM jibe. But seeing as Paul's cleric, thief, and fighter were all at least as stoned as he was he let it slide.
"Could you at least roll for the hit first before check damage?"
Paul was about to snark back a cheerful "Sure!!" when two rather odd things happened almost at the exact same instance. First the D-20 he had just picked up started to stretch and grow larger and heavier with a very nasty edge on one side. The second thing was the blade of a very sharp war axe attached to a equally pissed off mountain dwarf completely atomized the gaming table team Pb Balloon was quickly scrabbling back from.
Parrying the next swing of the axe with his brandy new bastard sword all Paul could coherently think was "Yep, too much smoke".
Just watch the D&D episode from Community....
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