I'm sure I was asked and fairly sure what I answered, only because I have had my own sons and not because I actually remember the occasion.
"Who is your hero?" is an essay most young men have had to write and most answer, as young men will, with quarterbacks and pitchers and movie stars or the occasional fireman or cop thrown in for good measure. Younger boys, especially the very young and small, would have no difficulty answering with "dad" or "father". Most young men don't have the courage to stand in front of their piers and speak a truth like that. You can see it in their eyes when dad's car pulls into the driveway and the way they run to the door to tell pop of the new friend they made or the new scar on their elbow. Dads, when you're that boy's age, can do anything and everything. They drive cars and have money and know all the words to all the songs on the radio (at least they believe they do) they know how high is up and why the sky gets bright for just a little while after the sun goes down. They even know why the boockalama (sp?) is so angry!!! But we get older and teachers tell us about science and friends laugh at the way we sing the words all wrong and we come to understand that dads can be wrong and sometimes they even lie (except at the movie theaters, that's usually where mom tells the lies).
"Who is your hero?" is an essay most young men have had to write and most answer, as young men will, with quarterbacks and pitchers and movie stars or the occasional fireman or cop thrown in for good measure. Younger boys, especially the very young and small, would have no difficulty answering with "dad" or "father". Most young men don't have the courage to stand in front of their piers and speak a truth like that. You can see it in their eyes when dad's car pulls into the driveway and the way they run to the door to tell pop of the new friend they made or the new scar on their elbow. Dads, when you're that boy's age, can do anything and everything. They drive cars and have money and know all the words to all the songs on the radio (at least they believe they do) they know how high is up and why the sky gets bright for just a little while after the sun goes down. They even know why the boockalama (sp?) is so angry!!! But we get older and teachers tell us about science and friends laugh at the way we sing the words all wrong and we come to understand that dads can be wrong and sometimes they even lie (except at the movie theaters, that's usually where mom tells the lies).
And as young men become less young dad becomes lame, maybe only with your friends or on essays but these young men they do start paying attention and the rose colored glasses become lost and the big S fades from too many washings. As teenagers experience the amazing changes that take place with their voices and hair everywhere and acne too, a teen's brain becomes this amazing new machine that knows everything, hears nothing , remembers less and respects very little. And then dad becomes the enemy. He is overly protective and doesn't understand you, your clothes, your friends, your music. He doesn't know anything about the important things you're really interested in like girls and .... umm.... well girls. He wont let you do anything and the only thing shorter than your temper appears to be dad's fuse, and what the heck is he pissed for, he's not keeping you from going to the movies, concert, kegger umm study session?
Then you leave and the world is harder and more unforgiving than anyone ever told you .... except maybe your dad.
My dad had me when he was 22 and my mom was 20. My sister and brother followed pretty quick with the youngest (my sweet sister #2) coming some years later. He did good if you ask me. He stayed married, he raised 4 kids, we all graduated high school and didn't end up in jail (for any real significant length of time), we all have lives and friends and loved ones. We are happy (at times) and truly love our parents. He's gone through several different cycles, moving cause we could, moving cause we had to, moving cause we wanted to find our place. He was a carpet installer who ran his own business and then had that path blocked, he became a teamster and at an age when most men have moved through their profession to the paper pushing management side my dad had to start over loading trucks ( in northeastern PA for Christ's sake ... can you say "Freakin' brrrrr"?), he then learned to drive those big rigs, survived that and finally retired.
I knew what was going on back then, but I have been doing it myself now for some time and I now believe I can see what my father did and who my father is through the right lens. A glass polished and ground with my own experiences, losses, pains, loves, failures, happiness, sorrows, pride, and accomplishments. Focused with the stiffness of joints and soreness of muscles and dimming of vision that gets the mind thinking "whats next?" and "how have I done so far?".
My dad is a good man and is a good dad. There is a lot about my dad I don't know, like how much he actually knows about women (I am sure he knows about what I know about wives - not a lot). He, by all accounts I have seen and heard, is a very good granddad. I love him and wish he could live with us for another 70 years. There are quite a few things my dad never taught me, and quite a few things that my dad taught me and I forgot, and even more things my dad taught me that I never gave him credit for. Here are a few things my dad can take credit for teaching me; be honest with yourself (be principled enough to feel bad if you're not honest with everyone else - even if you don't get caught), believe in yourself (because I believe in you), pick something anything and be the best you can be at it, you can do anything, stop kicking yourself (others will not so give yourself a break), love your family and friends. You have told me you are proud of me and I have come to believe it, I promise some day I'll be as proud of me as you are (give me a little time ... like you've had).
Is this always the way it is? That when you finally truly like your old man, you look in the mirror and realize its probably because you're one too?
I love you .... you are the best dad I ever had. And my #1 hero (right behind Spider-man and The Flea).
Then you leave and the world is harder and more unforgiving than anyone ever told you .... except maybe your dad.
My dad had me when he was 22 and my mom was 20. My sister and brother followed pretty quick with the youngest (my sweet sister #2) coming some years later. He did good if you ask me. He stayed married, he raised 4 kids, we all graduated high school and didn't end up in jail (for any real significant length of time), we all have lives and friends and loved ones. We are happy (at times) and truly love our parents. He's gone through several different cycles, moving cause we could, moving cause we had to, moving cause we wanted to find our place. He was a carpet installer who ran his own business and then had that path blocked, he became a teamster and at an age when most men have moved through their profession to the paper pushing management side my dad had to start over loading trucks ( in northeastern PA for Christ's sake ... can you say "Freakin' brrrrr"?), he then learned to drive those big rigs, survived that and finally retired.
I knew what was going on back then, but I have been doing it myself now for some time and I now believe I can see what my father did and who my father is through the right lens. A glass polished and ground with my own experiences, losses, pains, loves, failures, happiness, sorrows, pride, and accomplishments. Focused with the stiffness of joints and soreness of muscles and dimming of vision that gets the mind thinking "whats next?" and "how have I done so far?".
My dad is a good man and is a good dad. There is a lot about my dad I don't know, like how much he actually knows about women (I am sure he knows about what I know about wives - not a lot). He, by all accounts I have seen and heard, is a very good granddad. I love him and wish he could live with us for another 70 years. There are quite a few things my dad never taught me, and quite a few things that my dad taught me and I forgot, and even more things my dad taught me that I never gave him credit for. Here are a few things my dad can take credit for teaching me; be honest with yourself (be principled enough to feel bad if you're not honest with everyone else - even if you don't get caught), believe in yourself (because I believe in you), pick something anything and be the best you can be at it, you can do anything, stop kicking yourself (others will not so give yourself a break), love your family and friends. You have told me you are proud of me and I have come to believe it, I promise some day I'll be as proud of me as you are (give me a little time ... like you've had).
Is this always the way it is? That when you finally truly like your old man, you look in the mirror and realize its probably because you're one too?
I love you .... you are the best dad I ever had. And my #1 hero (right behind Spider-man and The Flea).
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